Parlour Games
An Argument for Games at Social Gatherings
My aim was to have this Substack go out mid-day yesterday. The state of the world is deeply troubling and it didn’t feel right to push out an article on frivolous party games (though I always stand by there is resistance in joy) as we actively witness such atrocities. I’m so deeply sad to see innocent human beings treated with such horrific violence. Beyond that - to have the official government statement be a LIE is dark and disturbing on many levels. If you are feeling similar and are not able to protest I recommend donating to Immigration Law Center of Minnesota. As always: FUCK. ICE.
There are endless resources on party planning that focus on decor and food - which of course I devour with joy. Fingers foods have me in a choke hold. I aspire to have matching linens for every occasion. When I see Hosting Closets on TikTok I need to scroll away before bursting into flames of jealousy.
But I think an underrated element is the art of the parlour game. I don’t see a lot of content around it, perhaps it’s because there is nothing to sell or promote. Maybe hosting content relies on the assumption of well mannered guests freely introducing themselves and partaking in pleasant conversation all night. Regardless - I firmly believe a little game can be the secret sauce to a killer party.
I know, I know, on paper a mandatory game comes across like a forced ice breaker or team building activity. People get flashbacks to college orientation or a horrid work conference. But when done right, it can be the highlight of the party. I like them for a few reasons:
Parties 👏 Should 👏 Be 👏 Fun
Games generate laughter, dopamine and an elevated heart rate.
Humans crave competition, its evolution baby. Why not have that in a fun and light hearted environment?
Bonding
Whether it’s through the shared trauma of losing or the glory of victory - camaraderie is created.
You learn more about an acquaintance other than what they do for work. Maybe they have an encyclopedic knowledge of WWI, or even Magic Ears. This likely wouldn’t come up just through polite conversation.
Teasing, trash talking, encouragement, gossiping - it all adds another element other than just recapping over lives to each other.
Gives a Transitional Distraction
This a welcome break where the guests are distracted for any behind the scenes things to get done. If the host wants to load the dishwasher or prep dessert there are no longer busy bodies in the way.
It provides pacing. A bit of digestion time and activity before dessert or a slow down in the drinking.
If my words aren’t convincing, I’m sure this image will be.
I’d like to offer some examples of games I’ve added to events to serve as inspiration. Though I’m calling them all Parlour games, there are basically two roads here:
High Commitment. The gathering revolves around the game itself. Poker, Traitors, Cook Off, Dog Show.
All participates share enthusiasm for the particular game.
Can require specialized items and/or pre planning.
Over an hour time commitment.
Low Commitment. The game adds a little spice to the gathering but is not the central focus. Trivia, Word Games, Lawn Games and Table Games.
Minimal rules, low supplies.
Flexible on participation.
Under an hour time commitment.
Okay so lets kick it off with some high commitment options. As the US Traitors is currently airing this is top of mind. I’ve hosted a Traitors party both in the U.S. and Ireland, which feels actually insane to write out. But I love Traitors! And to be fair - I completely outsource the actual game to my friend Connor Creagan every time. So for that reason I actually don’t have any advice on how to organize a game (feel free to ask him though!) but to also encourage you to outsource as well. Here is a little tease of the game in action:
What I can speak on is sourcing fashions for a game of Traitors - as it is my favorite part. Here are some truly gorgeous lewks from my wedding welcome party in Ireland which ended in a game of Traitors:
I’m thinking of rebranding a game of Traitors for my “I ❤️ NY Valentine’s Party” into a game of Cheaters. What can I say, I caught the Traitors bug!
Another High Commitment option is a Cook Off. I’ve done quite a few of these over the years. They’re so fun and creative. I always end up laughing until I cry. However it does take the whole day and you need a decent sized space to do it. For that reason I haven’t done one since last January - but I am looking to add to the 2026 agenda. Here are some past one for inspiration:
@lucitevisionWhen vacationing with the greatest cooks in America, its only natural to make dinner a competition. Who are you rooting for?? #pizzacompetition #showdown #wildmikespizza
@lucitevisionFollowing up the infamous #frozenpizzashowdown with a #macncheese #battle who are you rooting for? #kraft #macncheesebattle #sundaysupper
@lucitevisionIts time for another #foodbattle ! this time we are using viewer selected #instantmashedpotatoes with judge @jill_lives ! who are you rooting for? #monstermash🥔battle #neversinkramenoff #macncheesebattle #frozenpizzashowdown
Now this might be an unusual suggestion, but one Christmas we did a family Dog Show and it was SO FUN.
Judges scored 1-3 Paws on the following categories:
Promenade
Skills Showcase
Fashion
I intended to edit it all together like a sequel to Best in Show but that never happened. You can enjoy some raw clips below:
All of the above seem way too involved? I get it. Lets move on to the low commitment games. I’m a big fan of Trivia. It is essentially zero cost, can be teams or individuals. The preparation is pretty minimal and a bit educational (just fall down a Wikipedia rabbit hole). I’ve done Trivia at all our past Friendsgivings. This past Christmas Eve my husband compiled Christmas movie clips for a fun group trivia game. If you don’t know where to start when it comes to a party game, Trivia is my suggestion.
Lawn games are also a great low commitment option. I am partial to ones that require low athletic ability - but that might be just me. My mother in-in-law hosted a Tea Party last summer that had croquet. This was such a fun added element. Not zero cost, but I often see lawn games at goodwill or garage sales. This goes without saying, but these are weather dependent.
Need a non weather dependent option? Enter Table Games. People tend to have their favorites here. I’ll add two suggestions that work well in groups:
If you are looking for something easy to learn with a little bit of spice (lets put some money on this!) Threes is a great game to play with guests. The rules are very simple and quick to teach and learn. It has a perfect balance of strategy and chance. If you do small bets of $1 a round, the stakes are low but the more people you have playing, the bigger the pot gets. It’s a lot of fun and people who don’t play dice or gamble often get sucked into it easily.
Bingo is classic for a reason. It especially works when the group includes a range of ages. If this sounds slow and boring to you, I suggest dabbling in European Bingo. My friend Sam and I played this at The George one Sunday in Ireland and were struggling to keep up. But because of that, we made friends to show us the ropes thus proving my point that games bring people together.
And that concludes my argument for games at social gatherings. I hope you feel inspired to add one in to your next get together. When someone asks “What can I bring?” you can now answer “Bring some Trivia!” You may get a look of complete confusion or you might have just brought your party to the next level. As always love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
XX
Lucy